im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
