Everything about him screamed your future.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
