dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
