I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
