i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
