Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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