PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We have started to decorate penises.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
