Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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