Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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