Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
