If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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