Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Boobs speak an international language.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
