So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize