she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
