no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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