I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
