3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
