Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
