You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
