At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
send nudes
from the living room?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
