So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
