So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
