dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
