thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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