he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
