I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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