I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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