It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
they're like a gay fantastic four
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize