Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
