Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
