I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
this beer tastes like vomit already
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
