Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
