OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
