i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
