fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
