you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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