Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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