No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
