If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
