Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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