think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
