So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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