This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
