8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
