I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
thus making me awesome and them whores
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
