i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
