She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
where am i from again
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize