Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
