making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
