Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
