I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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