I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize