He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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