Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
